As a huge supporter of gay rights I believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality. I have lot’s of gay friends. In fact, it’s been said time and time again that a gay man is a straight woman’s best friend. After all, “every woman needs a great shopping partner!” So that’s great we’re all in agreeance that we love our gays. We love gay bars and drag queens and sassy men who stick their hands out in opinionated protest, but what about lesbians? Yes, that’s right ladies. I want to talk about good old girl on girl love.
This blog is all about women and girls so of course I have to talk about my sisters who share same sex practices. As the curser flashes at me annoyingly I’m reminded that I don’t really know anything about lesbianism. Or a gay woman’s struggles in this male dominated society. Why is that? I can sit with my friends having drinks, encircled in our usual cloud of smoke, and I can guarantee the word “fag” will not be said. However I also know that the word “dyke” will be, more than once. Why are we as women, more inclined to accept gay men over gay women? I once read an article that surveyed the opinions of college girls on homosexuality. These girls were increasingly more likely to surround themselves with gay men than lesbians. They reported that they would live with a gay woman as long as she “kept it to herself”, or hid her outrageous lesbianism, but most confided that they wanted no interaction with lesbian students. When asked why, many of them explained that they would be labeled as gay by association and would lose friends. Oh God! You mean these girls would be cordially uninvited to Kappa Kappa Delta’s sexist kegger and rape fest? The horror. I would rather kill myself than let a lesbian stand between me and a bromantic beer pong tournament.
No, stop. Just stop it. We have to change this. We can’t continue to isolate women just because they like other women. Isolation could be the reason that, from what I’ve seen, most gay women choose to hang out primarily with other gay women. There are many bars in my city that cater to gay men and only one or two, that I know of, who’s clientele is mostly lesbians. I was at one of these bars the other night, waiting in line for the bathroom. Thin little sorority girls were running through in their highest heals with a gay man strapped to their arm like a purse. I heard one of them say to the other, “Don’t worry I won’t let those dykes get you.” I’m sorry, but excuse me? I don’t know who you’re getting your information from, but believe it or not lesbians don’t attack innocent college girls with strap-ons. Even worse, the girl I was standing next to looked down at me and asked if she was scary looking. I was horrified.
As an adamant feminist I have been referred to as a “dyke” on more than one occasion or even asked, “oh, so you don’t like dick?” I understand that men feel extremely threatened by lesbians. Perhaps they feel they have to compete with these women because they’re both seeking the same prize. Or maybe it’s some sort of penis inadequacy because there are women out there that they cannot please. There are tons and tons of feminist analyses on the subject but frankly, they bore me so I choose not read them. I remember one however, from a feminist theorist who’s name I can no longer recall who believed that there was no such thing as consensual heterosexual sex. Her argument being that that if men and women are not equal, than women cannot properly consent to sex. The only consensual sex happens between gays and lesbians. Obviously this didn’t go over too well with many readers, and now that “you’re a feminist so you’re a dyke” stereotype hangs a little lower over our heads, but it’s still something to think about.
Even as I type “lesbian” into google images I am astonished by the amount pornography that appears before me. Now, obviously I need to change my security settings but regardless there’s something wrong here. Lesbians don’t exist for Girls Gone Wild as much as they don’t flip innocent straight girls. Let’s stop forcing their sexuality into a box that makes us feel comfortable. When I write about supporting other women, I mean completely supporting them. Accepting and celebrating the differences that bind us together making us uniquely female. We must stop stereotyping each other. When you tear one woman down, you bring us all down. For the record, this applies to gay men as well. They are not designer purses and were not put on this earth to help us with our outfits, even though some may be great at it.