Your Boyfriend’s Dirty Little Secret

We’re all guilty of sneaking a little peak at the virtual world of pornography. What was once considered wicked or unheard of is fast becoming a bankable commodity directed mostly towards men. Sex sells, and thanks to capitalism it is definitely selling. When sex becomes a hot market item, who is really paying the price?

I have talked to many different women about their feelings on pornography and their answers have varied. Some women have been extremely outspoken about their moral disgust for pornographic material on the basis that it seriously degrades women and provides men with false sexual fantasies that many women (who aren’t being paid) would never fulfill. Others have taken a more relaxed stance by regarding porn as generally harmless and just a part of human sexuality. After hearing these equal but opposite arguments I decided to poke around one of these sites, (no pun intended) and make a decision for myself.

In all honesty, what I saw was rather disturbing. I found it quite obvious that these sites are dominated by masculine ideals of lust and domineering sexual fantasies. I mean, even the titles to these videos were outrageous. Dirty, seedy words were thrown in randomly and were completely unnecessary. Call me old fashioned but I’ve always preferred candles to “XXX COCK PUSSY CREAMPIE” Really? You practically need a decoder to figure out what that even means. Is this the kind of language that romantic “sweet nothings” have been reduced to? Even the picture previews made sex look extremely unappetizing. Even worse were the sidebar advertisements which read “Barely 18” with images of young girls that were certainly younger than 18 or even 16. Perfect! It’s a pedophile’s playground, I’m so glad there is a free mainstream website that caters to these individuals, because after all that’s not illegal or anything.

Am I missing something here? In my book, the act of buying and selling sex violates some deep inner laws but I would be less inclined to argue against it, if the sex that was being exchanged was completely consensual. However, some of the ads and pop-ups that bombarded my computer with titles like, “Punish Her” and “Brutal” leads me to believe that these women are not consenting. Even if they are, but they’re “acting” like they’re not, doesn’t this also pose a serious problem? It’s obvious to me that there is fan base of men who enjoy climaxing to the degradation and humiliation of young women. That is a sexual disorder that is being facilitated by the online porn community. Disturbed men are buying and so an even more disturbed, money hungry market is selling.

I have often been considered an over-analyst but this is a very serious issue. It goes far beyond the private use of a lusty visual, or catching your boyfriend, husband or God forbid teenage son with his pants down at the keyboard. These rough and tumble videos are perpetuating rape culture and turning sex from an act of unity on the physical and emotional to a power struggle in which the man comes out the valor. Even “soft core” videos further negative female stereotypes. I know that I sure haven’t ever considered “Whore” and “slut” to be flattering terms. I’m also sure that male actors rarely wear condoms, (since one would make it that much harder to ejaculate on a woman’s face, which seems to be extremely popular.) which only tells the viewer that it’s okay for them not to wear them, making condom negotiation even harder for women. It is, in fact obvious to me that even though more men may be whipping out their credit cards in exchange for a little skin, women are the ones who actually pay. In a society where everything can be bought and sold to the highest bidder, the pornography industry is taking sexuality to an entire new level, which leads me to ask, is nothing sacred?

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